Friday, June 12, 2015

Corn Mazes and Big Gulps- Date #2

So in continuation of my comedic dating life, here's Date #2

*Names have been changed to protect identities*

I have a friend named Paul. Paul likes a girl named Cindy. And since we are all crazy Mormons, her Dad won't let Paul take her out unless it's a group date. Paul begs me to come with and promises to set me up with Chris.

The plan was to hit up the local corn maze. Which tbh is actually a pretty big attraction and awesome.

That whole weekend it just rained and rained and rained. I text Paul and say... "Ummm are you sure this is a good idea? It's going to be all muddy."

He responds- "That'll just make it more fun!" and to my dismay I plan accordingly (jacket, ugly shoes, and not my favorite pair of jeans)

We all meet up and head together to the corn maze. Because I was under the impression I was on a date with Chris and didn't need to pay, and the fact that I hate carrying my purse around... I left my stuff in the car.

Paul and Cindy go through the ticket booth, and I'm just chillin' by Chris awkwardly. He keeps motioning for me to go ahead of him but I just stay put. Finally I realize he wants me to pay for myself. So I ask for his keys and if I can go get my purse. Paul gives him this dirty look and is like "Dude! You're on a date" so... Chris finally understands what's going down and pays for the both of us. (Talk about awkward)

We head into the maze and have a grand old time slipping and sliding around in the mud. It was actually kind of fun but also kind of awful. I was in fear the entire time of actually falling into the mud and getting all gross. To make matters worse- my mom and I had gotten Big Gulps prior to my date. I drank all of that soda and entered into the depths of this muddy corn maze.

It's already pretty painful being on a date with a full bladder. It's even more painful when you're praying to God every time you slide around that you don't slip in the mud and pee yourself.

We are pretty lost and hope is gone. I finally make an announcement to the group that we need to find the exit ASAP cause I gotta use the restroom BAD!

No joke. We search for the exit another 30-45 minutes. My bladder is ready to explode. Still no exit. I did the only logical thing to do when you're gonna wet yourself.

I announce loudly- "Guys take cover. I'm going in. Don't look and make sure no one comes by."

and then I go into the middle of the corn maze and relieve myself.

Sweet relief.

I rejoin the group and giggle about how awkward the situation is. We continue the search for the exit cause we are pretty over this whole corn maze thing. No joke. Two minutes later we find the exit. So I jumped into the corn maze and peed in front of everyone when the exit was SOOO CLOSE!

Paul, Chris and I are still good friends. In fact Chris and I roadtripped to Paul's wedding in December.

Funniest thing is Chris completely forgot about this incident. That is until I reminded him when we both got off our missions.

Good to know I'm the only one who is scarred from this experience.

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