Corn Mazes and Big Gulps- Date #2

So in continuation of my comedic dating life, here's Date #2

*Names have been changed to protect identities*

I have a friend named Paul. Paul likes a girl named Cindy. And since we are all crazy Mormons, her Dad won't let Paul take her out unless it's a group date. Paul begs me to come with and promises to set me up with Chris.

The plan was to hit up the local corn maze. Which tbh is actually a pretty big attraction and awesome.

That whole weekend it just rained and rained and rained. I text Paul and say... "Ummm are you sure this is a good idea? It's going to be all muddy."

He responds- "That'll just make it more fun!" and to my dismay I plan accordingly (jacket, ugly shoes, and not my favorite pair of jeans)

We all meet up and head together to the corn maze. Because I was under the impression I was on a date with Chris and didn't need to pay, and the fact that I hate carrying my purse around... I left my stuff in the car.

Paul and Cindy go through the ticket booth, and I'm just chillin' by Chris awkwardly. He keeps motioning for me to go ahead of him but I just stay put. Finally I realize he wants me to pay for myself. So I ask for his keys and if I can go get my purse. Paul gives him this dirty look and is like "Dude! You're on a date" so... Chris finally understands what's going down and pays for the both of us. (Talk about awkward)

We head into the maze and have a grand old time slipping and sliding around in the mud. It was actually kind of fun but also kind of awful. I was in fear the entire time of actually falling into the mud and getting all gross. To make matters worse- my mom and I had gotten Big Gulps prior to my date. I drank all of that soda and entered into the depths of this muddy corn maze.

It's already pretty painful being on a date with a full bladder. It's even more painful when you're praying to God every time you slide around that you don't slip in the mud and pee yourself.

We are pretty lost and hope is gone. I finally make an announcement to the group that we need to find the exit ASAP cause I gotta use the restroom BAD!

No joke. We search for the exit another 30-45 minutes. My bladder is ready to explode. Still no exit. I did the only logical thing to do when you're gonna wet yourself.

I announce loudly- "Guys take cover. I'm going in. Don't look and make sure no one comes by."

and then I go into the middle of the corn maze and relieve myself.

Sweet relief.

I rejoin the group and giggle about how awkward the situation is. We continue the search for the exit cause we are pretty over this whole corn maze thing. No joke. Two minutes later we find the exit. So I jumped into the corn maze and peed in front of everyone when the exit was SOOO CLOSE!

Paul, Chris and I are still good friends. In fact Chris and I roadtripped to Paul's wedding in December.

Funniest thing is Chris completely forgot about this incident. That is until I reminded him when we both got off our missions.

Good to know I'm the only one who is scarred from this experience.

My Life- A Comedy of Sorts

Being a twenty something year old girl, living with 3 other girls, and surrounded by several others- we talk a lot. We talk about our feelings, our clothes, the latest Taylor Swift song and of course DATING.

Dating is always the most popular topic and is usually the root of our discussions on feelings, or what to wear and even sometimes about TSwift. It always leads back to BOYS!

With all of these conversations (which are high in number) I've noticed a trend about my dating life.

It is straight up COMEDIC MATERIAL.

So in honor of comedy, as well as learning to shrug off all the unfortunate situations that I seem to get myself into... I'm going to give you a brief dating history of your girl Mal. Starting from the very beginning. My first actual date until now. So stay posted for the next awful date story, followed by the next.

*Note: names will be changed to protect the identity of the male specimens. Also please don't get all offended if you were blogged. It's all for funsies and hopefully we've all moved on*

My first date happened when I was 16. It was with this boy in my seminary class who also had just turned 16. In fact, I had come to his birthday party a week before and gifted him a nice $10 gift card to Cold Stone Creamery.

Seminary boy was a hoot. Like literally. He would make noises similar to the hoot of an owl. He has tourettes syndrome and every day in seminary he'd give us the count down # of days till he was 16 so he could take all the ladies on dates.

He was a nice boy, so of course I said yes. I primped and planned and then an hour before the date he calls to tell me I must drive. He has no drivers license and forgot to inform me that I must pick him up. I borrow my Dad's car and set off to his house.

We meet up with another couple at the movie theater and watch "Meet the Robinson's" that cute cartoon Disney type movie. His hooting was kept to a minimum and I was enjoying my free movie

Afterwards we went to... Cold Stone! Where he proceeds to buy the largest size of Cotton Candy ice cream available and put BUTTERFINGERS ON IT!


He then proceeds to buy our ice cream with the gift card I gave him on his birthday!!! I enjoy my chocolatey goodness and try not to puke over the large amount of butterfinger cotton candy mess on his face.

After enduring Cold Stone and chatting with the other couple I finally grab the keys, start the car and then drop him off.

And that concludes my first official date.

Half Birthdays, Reflections and SummerLyfe

Holy crap.

It's June.

It's already summer.

I've completed the easiest semester of my life and have 3 months of freedom left till school starts again.



As of yesterday- I'm officially 24.5 years old. Times are a changing and the clock continues to tick.

It's really easy to think about all the things you "could be doing" or you "could have" or how your life "could be" I mean for heaven's sake- I could be married or have a kid-like my parents were at my age. I could be graduated from college and I could live a real "adult" life in the work force.

But alas, I am not.

I still have 1 full year of school left, and 1 full year of paid student teaching before I get my diploma.
And I'm extremely single, with very few gentleman callers. (practically zero)


But you know what?! It's alright!

How much longer will I be able to be independent and responsible for me, and only me?

How many more times can I stay up till 3:00 AM chatting with my roommates on megabed?
Or go on midnight bike rides with my gang?

How many more dance parties can I go to and shamelessly shake my thang?

How much longer will I be able to snag all the college student deals, or free load the pizza parties around campus?

How much longer can I live the life of a twenty something year old? (5.5 years to be exact...)

But thanks to the wisdom of my amazing Dad, I've come to a meaningful realization- Is life a race? What am I running to/for? Does marriage or graduation signify the end of my race? Or the beginning of a new one? So instead of sprinting to the finish line- I'm gonna relax and float this lazy river.

Don't get me wrong. I'm gonna do my best to improve myself. Put myself out there. Find an eternal companion. Study hard and graduate. But I'm going to enjoy myself while doing it.

So in honor of enjoying this relaxing ride, it's time for

My Summer Bucket List 2.0
-Go Fishing
-LAGOON
-Zion's National Park
-Alpine Slide
-Hike various UT attractions (Provo, SLC area)
-Go to a Rodeo
-Try a new food
-Go boating
-Try all of the shaved ice shacks in Provo.
-Learn to play racquetball
-Twilight Concert Series
-Outdoor movie
-Sleep under the stars
-Do a session in every UT temple.
-Fly a kite
-Rent a puppy
-Go boating
-Read 4 books

So what kind of things are you going to enjoy this summer? Are you going to pick up your pace? Or enjoy the view?