Don't worry folks. I didn't run out of horrible date stories. I just had to work 50 hours last week and it's summer so I'm a bit distracted.
For date #3 I'll give you some background.
One of my roommates, we'll call her Kate, had her missionary return. Things were wonderful, happy, and the two were clearly still in love. Kate and *John wanted everyone else to be in love and to join in on the fun, so they often set me up with several of John's friends from high school.
This time they set me up with Mr. Fresh Mex. He too returned from his mission. 10 DAYS EARLIER!
The plan was to make dinner at our apartment and then go to this mini opera at BYU.
Kate and John chopped the chicken. *Emily and *Alex shredded cheese, and Mr. Fresh Mex and I chopped veggies.
It was awkward.
Words cannot quite express what this conversation was like because there really wasn't much of one.
Mr. Fresh Mex was obviously still stuck on his mission. He had a thick Mexican accent and struggled to find words he wanted to say in English.
I tried to find things in common. I tried to bring him back to America, to things we both could relate to. However, I failed and I have never more diligently chopped vegetables. I kept looking to the other couples for relief but they were all in their own bubbles of love and excitement.
We made our way to BYU and I actually quite enjoyed the opera. Being a music major at the time, I knew several of the performers and was impressed. My date however, did not. He poked fun at their voices and the other couples made claims that anyone can sing opera if you just "wobble your voice"
They clearly didn't have to spend 10+ hours in the practice room each week like the performers and I did.
I don't remember how this date ended exactly, but I was definitely relieved to be home.
Lesson learned: don't go on dates with freshly returned missionaries who can't speak english.
*Names have obviously been changed*
Wednesday, July 1, 2015
Friday, June 12, 2015
Corn Mazes and Big Gulps- Date #2
So in continuation of my comedic dating life, here's Date #2
*Names have been changed to protect identities*
I have a friend named Paul. Paul likes a girl named Cindy. And since we are all crazy Mormons, her Dad won't let Paul take her out unless it's a group date. Paul begs me to come with and promises to set me up with Chris.
The plan was to hit up the local corn maze. Which tbh is actually a pretty big attraction and awesome.
That whole weekend it just rained and rained and rained. I text Paul and say... "Ummm are you sure this is a good idea? It's going to be all muddy."
He responds- "That'll just make it more fun!" and to my dismay I plan accordingly (jacket, ugly shoes, and not my favorite pair of jeans)
We all meet up and head together to the corn maze. Because I was under the impression I was on a date with Chris and didn't need to pay, and the fact that I hate carrying my purse around... I left my stuff in the car.
Paul and Cindy go through the ticket booth, and I'm just chillin' by Chris awkwardly. He keeps motioning for me to go ahead of him but I just stay put. Finally I realize he wants me to pay for myself. So I ask for his keys and if I can go get my purse. Paul gives him this dirty look and is like "Dude! You're on a date" so... Chris finally understands what's going down and pays for the both of us. (Talk about awkward)
We head into the maze and have a grand old time slipping and sliding around in the mud. It was actually kind of fun but also kind of awful. I was in fear the entire time of actually falling into the mud and getting all gross. To make matters worse- my mom and I had gotten Big Gulps prior to my date. I drank all of that soda and entered into the depths of this muddy corn maze.
It's already pretty painful being on a date with a full bladder. It's even more painful when you're praying to God every time you slide around that you don't slip in the mud and pee yourself.
We are pretty lost and hope is gone. I finally make an announcement to the group that we need to find the exit ASAP cause I gotta use the restroom BAD!
No joke. We search for the exit another 30-45 minutes. My bladder is ready to explode. Still no exit. I did the only logical thing to do when you're gonna wet yourself.
I announce loudly- "Guys take cover. I'm going in. Don't look and make sure no one comes by."
and then I go into the middle of the corn maze and relieve myself.
Sweet relief.
I rejoin the group and giggle about how awkward the situation is. We continue the search for the exit cause we are pretty over this whole corn maze thing. No joke. Two minutes later we find the exit. So I jumped into the corn maze and peed in front of everyone when the exit was SOOO CLOSE!
Paul, Chris and I are still good friends. In fact Chris and I roadtripped to Paul's wedding in December.
Funniest thing is Chris completely forgot about this incident. That is until I reminded him when we both got off our missions.
Good to know I'm the only one who is scarred from this experience.
*Names have been changed to protect identities*
I have a friend named Paul. Paul likes a girl named Cindy. And since we are all crazy Mormons, her Dad won't let Paul take her out unless it's a group date. Paul begs me to come with and promises to set me up with Chris.
The plan was to hit up the local corn maze. Which tbh is actually a pretty big attraction and awesome.
That whole weekend it just rained and rained and rained. I text Paul and say... "Ummm are you sure this is a good idea? It's going to be all muddy."
He responds- "That'll just make it more fun!" and to my dismay I plan accordingly (jacket, ugly shoes, and not my favorite pair of jeans)
We all meet up and head together to the corn maze. Because I was under the impression I was on a date with Chris and didn't need to pay, and the fact that I hate carrying my purse around... I left my stuff in the car.
Paul and Cindy go through the ticket booth, and I'm just chillin' by Chris awkwardly. He keeps motioning for me to go ahead of him but I just stay put. Finally I realize he wants me to pay for myself. So I ask for his keys and if I can go get my purse. Paul gives him this dirty look and is like "Dude! You're on a date" so... Chris finally understands what's going down and pays for the both of us. (Talk about awkward)
We head into the maze and have a grand old time slipping and sliding around in the mud. It was actually kind of fun but also kind of awful. I was in fear the entire time of actually falling into the mud and getting all gross. To make matters worse- my mom and I had gotten Big Gulps prior to my date. I drank all of that soda and entered into the depths of this muddy corn maze.
It's already pretty painful being on a date with a full bladder. It's even more painful when you're praying to God every time you slide around that you don't slip in the mud and pee yourself.
We are pretty lost and hope is gone. I finally make an announcement to the group that we need to find the exit ASAP cause I gotta use the restroom BAD!
No joke. We search for the exit another 30-45 minutes. My bladder is ready to explode. Still no exit. I did the only logical thing to do when you're gonna wet yourself.
I announce loudly- "Guys take cover. I'm going in. Don't look and make sure no one comes by."
and then I go into the middle of the corn maze and relieve myself.
Sweet relief.
I rejoin the group and giggle about how awkward the situation is. We continue the search for the exit cause we are pretty over this whole corn maze thing. No joke. Two minutes later we find the exit. So I jumped into the corn maze and peed in front of everyone when the exit was SOOO CLOSE!
Paul, Chris and I are still good friends. In fact Chris and I roadtripped to Paul's wedding in December.
Funniest thing is Chris completely forgot about this incident. That is until I reminded him when we both got off our missions.
Good to know I'm the only one who is scarred from this experience.
Thursday, June 11, 2015
My Life- A Comedy of Sorts
Being a twenty something year old girl, living with 3 other girls, and surrounded by several others- we talk a lot. We talk about our feelings, our clothes, the latest Taylor Swift song and of course DATING.
Dating is always the most popular topic and is usually the root of our discussions on feelings, or what to wear and even sometimes about TSwift. It always leads back to BOYS!
With all of these conversations (which are high in number) I've noticed a trend about my dating life.
It is straight up COMEDIC MATERIAL.
So in honor of comedy, as well as learning to shrug off all the unfortunate situations that I seem to get myself into... I'm going to give you a brief dating history of your girl Mal. Starting from the very beginning. My first actual date until now. So stay posted for the next awful date story, followed by the next.
*Note: names will be changed to protect the identity of the male specimens. Also please don't get all offended if you were blogged. It's all for funsies and hopefully we've all moved on*
My first date happened when I was 16. It was with this boy in my seminary class who also had just turned 16. In fact, I had come to his birthday party a week before and gifted him a nice $10 gift card to Cold Stone Creamery.
Seminary boy was a hoot. Like literally. He would make noises similar to the hoot of an owl. He has tourettes syndrome and every day in seminary he'd give us the count down # of days till he was 16 so he could take all the ladies on dates.
He was a nice boy, so of course I said yes. I primped and planned and then an hour before the date he calls to tell me I must drive. He has no drivers license and forgot to inform me that I must pick him up. I borrow my Dad's car and set off to his house.
We meet up with another couple at the movie theater and watch "Meet the Robinson's" that cute cartoon Disney type movie. His hooting was kept to a minimum and I was enjoying my free movie
Afterwards we went to... Cold Stone! Where he proceeds to buy the largest size of Cotton Candy ice cream available and put BUTTERFINGERS ON IT!
He then proceeds to buy our ice cream with the gift card I gave him on his birthday!!! I enjoy my chocolatey goodness and try not to puke over the large amount of butterfinger cotton candy mess on his face.
After enduring Cold Stone and chatting with the other couple I finally grab the keys, start the car and then drop him off.
And that concludes my first official date.
Dating is always the most popular topic and is usually the root of our discussions on feelings, or what to wear and even sometimes about TSwift. It always leads back to BOYS!
With all of these conversations (which are high in number) I've noticed a trend about my dating life.
It is straight up COMEDIC MATERIAL.
So in honor of comedy, as well as learning to shrug off all the unfortunate situations that I seem to get myself into... I'm going to give you a brief dating history of your girl Mal. Starting from the very beginning. My first actual date until now. So stay posted for the next awful date story, followed by the next.
*Note: names will be changed to protect the identity of the male specimens. Also please don't get all offended if you were blogged. It's all for funsies and hopefully we've all moved on*
My first date happened when I was 16. It was with this boy in my seminary class who also had just turned 16. In fact, I had come to his birthday party a week before and gifted him a nice $10 gift card to Cold Stone Creamery.
Seminary boy was a hoot. Like literally. He would make noises similar to the hoot of an owl. He has tourettes syndrome and every day in seminary he'd give us the count down # of days till he was 16 so he could take all the ladies on dates.
He was a nice boy, so of course I said yes. I primped and planned and then an hour before the date he calls to tell me I must drive. He has no drivers license and forgot to inform me that I must pick him up. I borrow my Dad's car and set off to his house.
We meet up with another couple at the movie theater and watch "Meet the Robinson's" that cute cartoon Disney type movie. His hooting was kept to a minimum and I was enjoying my free movie
Afterwards we went to... Cold Stone! Where he proceeds to buy the largest size of Cotton Candy ice cream available and put BUTTERFINGERS ON IT!
He then proceeds to buy our ice cream with the gift card I gave him on his birthday!!! I enjoy my chocolatey goodness and try not to puke over the large amount of butterfinger cotton candy mess on his face.
After enduring Cold Stone and chatting with the other couple I finally grab the keys, start the car and then drop him off.
And that concludes my first official date.
Friday, June 5, 2015
Half Birthdays, Reflections and SummerLyfe
Holy crap.
It's June.
It's already summer.
I've completed the easiest semester of my life and have 3 months of freedom left till school starts again.
As of yesterday- I'm officially 24.5 years old. Times are a changing and the clock continues to tick.
It's really easy to think about all the things you "could be doing" or you "could have" or how your life "could be" I mean for heaven's sake- I could be married or have a kid-like my parents were at my age. I could be graduated from college and I could live a real "adult" life in the work force.
But alas, I am not.
I still have 1 full year of school left, and 1 full year of paid student teaching before I get my diploma.
And I'm extremely single, with very few gentleman callers. (practically zero)
But you know what?! It's alright!
How much longer will I be able to be independent and responsible for me, and only me?
How many more times can I stay up till 3:00 AM chatting with my roommates on megabed?
Or go on midnight bike rides with my gang?
How many more dance parties can I go to and shamelessly shake my thang?
How much longer will I be able to snag all the college student deals, or free load the pizza parties around campus?
How much longer can I live the life of a twenty something year old? (5.5 years to be exact...)
But thanks to the wisdom of my amazing Dad, I've come to a meaningful realization- Is life a race? What am I running to/for? Does marriage or graduation signify the end of my race? Or the beginning of a new one? So instead of sprinting to the finish line- I'm gonna relax and float this lazy river.
Don't get me wrong. I'm gonna do my best to improve myself. Put myself out there. Find an eternal companion. Study hard and graduate. But I'm going to enjoy myself while doing it.
So in honor of enjoying this relaxing ride, it's time for
My Summer Bucket List 2.0
-Go Fishing
-LAGOON
-Zion's National Park
-Alpine Slide
-Hike various UT attractions (Provo, SLC area)
-Go to a Rodeo
-Try a new food
-Go boating
-Try all of the shaved ice shacks in Provo.
-Learn to play racquetball
-Twilight Concert Series
-Outdoor movie
-Sleep under the stars
-Do a session in every UT temple.
-Fly a kite
-Rent a puppy
-Go boating
-Read 4 books
So what kind of things are you going to enjoy this summer? Are you going to pick up your pace? Or enjoy the view?
It's June.
It's already summer.
I've completed the easiest semester of my life and have 3 months of freedom left till school starts again.
As of yesterday- I'm officially 24.5 years old. Times are a changing and the clock continues to tick.
It's really easy to think about all the things you "could be doing" or you "could have" or how your life "could be" I mean for heaven's sake- I could be married or have a kid-like my parents were at my age. I could be graduated from college and I could live a real "adult" life in the work force.
But alas, I am not.
I still have 1 full year of school left, and 1 full year of paid student teaching before I get my diploma.
And I'm extremely single, with very few gentleman callers. (practically zero)
But you know what?! It's alright!
How much longer will I be able to be independent and responsible for me, and only me?
How many more times can I stay up till 3:00 AM chatting with my roommates on megabed?
Or go on midnight bike rides with my gang?
How many more dance parties can I go to and shamelessly shake my thang?
How much longer will I be able to snag all the college student deals, or free load the pizza parties around campus?
How much longer can I live the life of a twenty something year old? (5.5 years to be exact...)
But thanks to the wisdom of my amazing Dad, I've come to a meaningful realization- Is life a race? What am I running to/for? Does marriage or graduation signify the end of my race? Or the beginning of a new one? So instead of sprinting to the finish line- I'm gonna relax and float this lazy river.
Don't get me wrong. I'm gonna do my best to improve myself. Put myself out there. Find an eternal companion. Study hard and graduate. But I'm going to enjoy myself while doing it.
So in honor of enjoying this relaxing ride, it's time for
My Summer Bucket List 2.0
-Go Fishing
-LAGOON
-Zion's National Park
-Alpine Slide
-Hike various UT attractions (Provo, SLC area)
-Go to a Rodeo
-Try a new food
-Go boating
-Try all of the shaved ice shacks in Provo.
-Learn to play racquetball
-Twilight Concert Series
-Outdoor movie
-Sleep under the stars
-Do a session in every UT temple.
-Fly a kite
-Rent a puppy
-Go boating
-Read 4 books
So what kind of things are you going to enjoy this summer? Are you going to pick up your pace? Or enjoy the view?
Thursday, November 20, 2014
1D 4 EVA
Ok not to brag or anything. But I pretty much discovered the perfection that is One Direction. For proof you can look at this post from February 2012.
But anyways. The other day I was reading a hilarious post on Hello Giggles about why we are still not over One Direction.
Let's face it. I'm turning 24 in two weeks. I probably shouldn't be getting all fan girly on a bunch of teen dream boats and obsessing over their new album. But this article validated my crazy feelings.
Having grown up in the 90's and early 2000's, also known as the GOLDEN AGE of pop and boy bands such as N*Sync and Backstreet Boys, it's no wonder I can't shake this feeling!
Let's face it. It's fun. Why wouldn't you obsess over them? They are stylish, attractive human beings. They have musical gifts and voices of angels. They produce toe tappin' dance inducing pop hits. You can't help but sing "What Makes You Beautiful" at the top of your lungs.
So in honor of One Direction's new album FOUR. I'm gonna produce an hierarchy of the songs. Because let's face it-everyone agrees with me and my musical taste. (Except my brothers and all those indie hipsters.)
1. Steal My Girl
2. Ready To Run
3. Illusion
4. Stockholm Syndrome
5. Act My Age
6, 18
7. Where Do Broken Hearts Go
8. Fool's Gold
9. Fire Proof
10. No Control
11. Girl Almighty
12. Change Your Ticket
13. Clouds
14. Once in a Lifetime
15. Spaces
16. Night Changes.
But anyways. The other day I was reading a hilarious post on Hello Giggles about why we are still not over One Direction.
Let's face it. I'm turning 24 in two weeks. I probably shouldn't be getting all fan girly on a bunch of teen dream boats and obsessing over their new album. But this article validated my crazy feelings.
Having grown up in the 90's and early 2000's, also known as the GOLDEN AGE of pop and boy bands such as N*Sync and Backstreet Boys, it's no wonder I can't shake this feeling!
Let's face it. It's fun. Why wouldn't you obsess over them? They are stylish, attractive human beings. They have musical gifts and voices of angels. They produce toe tappin' dance inducing pop hits. You can't help but sing "What Makes You Beautiful" at the top of your lungs.
So in honor of One Direction's new album FOUR. I'm gonna produce an hierarchy of the songs. Because let's face it-everyone agrees with me and my musical taste. (Except my brothers and all those indie hipsters.)
1. Steal My Girl
2. Ready To Run
3. Illusion
4. Stockholm Syndrome
5. Act My Age
6, 18
7. Where Do Broken Hearts Go
8. Fool's Gold
9. Fire Proof
10. No Control
11. Girl Almighty
12. Change Your Ticket
13. Clouds
14. Once in a Lifetime
15. Spaces
16. Night Changes.
Thursday, October 30, 2014
1989 T Swizzle
Why is it that I always blog when I'm trying to avoid other things??? (midterms, papers, etc)
...Something I should consider...and maybe fix....
I've been sitting at work for 2.7 hours bored out of my mind and have decided to talk about something that is extremely important to me.
You're probably thinking I'm gonna rant about ordain women, or some devastating statistic or story. Maybe I'd write a super religious post or even talk about my family... But you're wrong.
It's about TAYLOR SWIFT
Can we just talk about how good her new album is?
Maybe it's because I'm a pop princess at heart. Or maybe it's because it's all I've been listening to this whole week while doing homework, sitting in my office, driving my car, even using the bathroom. (ok. yeah too far.)
But for reals. IT'S SOO GOOD!
It took me three days to come up with this list but it's official. I'm going to rank my favorite songs.
(obviously shake it off is at the top, but it's been out for months and so it doesn't count right now.)
1. Style
2. Out of the Woods
3. Bad Blood
4. Blank Space
5. All You Had To Do Was Stay
6. Clean
7. Welcome to New York
8. How You Get the Girl
9. I Wish You Would
10. Wildest Dreams
11. This Love
12. I Know Places
So yeah. You can catch me in my office, silently jamming, or toe tapping. And if I'm at home or in my car you gonna bet I'm bobbing my head and singing at the top of my lungs to this album.
At least until it's socially appropriate to start listening to Christmas Music. Cause let's be real. That's my other favorite thing.
...Something I should consider...and maybe fix....
I've been sitting at work for 2.7 hours bored out of my mind and have decided to talk about something that is extremely important to me.
You're probably thinking I'm gonna rant about ordain women, or some devastating statistic or story. Maybe I'd write a super religious post or even talk about my family... But you're wrong.
It's about TAYLOR SWIFT
Can we just talk about how good her new album is?
Maybe it's because I'm a pop princess at heart. Or maybe it's because it's all I've been listening to this whole week while doing homework, sitting in my office, driving my car, even using the bathroom. (ok. yeah too far.)
But for reals. IT'S SOO GOOD!
It took me three days to come up with this list but it's official. I'm going to rank my favorite songs.
(obviously shake it off is at the top, but it's been out for months and so it doesn't count right now.)
1. Style
2. Out of the Woods
3. Bad Blood
4. Blank Space
5. All You Had To Do Was Stay
6. Clean
7. Welcome to New York
8. How You Get the Girl
9. I Wish You Would
10. Wildest Dreams
11. This Love
12. I Know Places
So yeah. You can catch me in my office, silently jamming, or toe tapping. And if I'm at home or in my car you gonna bet I'm bobbing my head and singing at the top of my lungs to this album.
At least until it's socially appropriate to start listening to Christmas Music. Cause let's be real. That's my other favorite thing.
Enjoy my silent jam in my cubicle.
Wednesday, October 22, 2014
#ilovetoseethetemple
Phew. I made it.
Last week was absolutely insane. Being a full time student is not all fun and games. Especially when you work 20 hours a week and have church callings to fulfill. And if you're anything like me, you like to have fun too. I was really proud of myself. I managed my time well and didn't have too many sleepless nights. I was able to write 4 papers and do a presentation, go to the temple, magnify my calling, go to a concert, a football game and hang out with boys!
I'm really grateful for my new ward and calling. I've been called as the Temple and Family History Co-Chair. I was all stoked about planning temple trips, and having more incentive to go often, but family history? I'm pretty sure my grandma did it all.
FALSE.
Each of us can do family history work. And it's super interesting! I mean I've only been working on it for about a week. But I found myself being genuinely intrigued in looking through my family tree and trying to complete it's branches.
The other cool thing I learned how to do was Index! We had cinnamon rolls and chocolate milk at Sister Barnes' house and indexed away. It was super fun. You could easily do it while watching TV or netflixing. Double Tasking!
Anyways. I don't mean to get all Mormon-y and talk all about family history. But I'm just genuinely excited to get more involved and have been super grateful for the experiences I've been having.
Also. Can we just look at how pretty the temples are? Here are some of my favorite Insta's / pics from my phone. Especially the one from yesterday. Fall in UT is gorgeous!
Last week was absolutely insane. Being a full time student is not all fun and games. Especially when you work 20 hours a week and have church callings to fulfill. And if you're anything like me, you like to have fun too. I was really proud of myself. I managed my time well and didn't have too many sleepless nights. I was able to write 4 papers and do a presentation, go to the temple, magnify my calling, go to a concert, a football game and hang out with boys!
I'm really grateful for my new ward and calling. I've been called as the Temple and Family History Co-Chair. I was all stoked about planning temple trips, and having more incentive to go often, but family history? I'm pretty sure my grandma did it all.
FALSE.
Each of us can do family history work. And it's super interesting! I mean I've only been working on it for about a week. But I found myself being genuinely intrigued in looking through my family tree and trying to complete it's branches.
The other cool thing I learned how to do was Index! We had cinnamon rolls and chocolate milk at Sister Barnes' house and indexed away. It was super fun. You could easily do it while watching TV or netflixing. Double Tasking!
Anyways. I don't mean to get all Mormon-y and talk all about family history. But I'm just genuinely excited to get more involved and have been super grateful for the experiences I've been having.
Also. Can we just look at how pretty the temples are? Here are some of my favorite Insta's / pics from my phone. Especially the one from yesterday. Fall in UT is gorgeous!
Provo, UT
Ogden, UT
Provo, UT
Salt Lake City, UT
Las Vegas, NV
St. George, UT
My Temple!
Billings, MT
#ilovetoseethetemple
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